Like the air we breathe, a case can be made for fear being seen as a fundamental part of the human condition. It ensures that we do not harm ourselves by doing something without proper thought and preparation. It is a preventative mechanism. It's a counterbalance to the rawness of our instinct. Simply, it prevents our instinct or id from running amok.
The downside,? In excess it immobilizes us. It inhibits our intuition to a point where we do not trust our innate ability to evaluate a situation, form a judgment based on evidence or act appropriately for the benefit of the self and others.
Though fear is a natural part of our make-up, how we manage it is a socialized practice. From birth to whenever, we are reminded to factor fear into every thought, decision and action we take.
My personal conscious experiences with fear began, like many, in childhood. It related to the Christian religious concept of being a 'sinner' and 'going to hell'.
As I grew into adulthood many other fears followed, the primary one that disabled me consistently was 'not trusting myself'. My self-doubt manifested itself in thoughts such as: everyone else knows more than me and therefore my knowledge and/or opinion has no value and I am being rejected because I am not 'smart' enough.
Now more to the question about fear as it relates to change in our lives. Generally, our way of thinking and ease in judging ourselves, always takes us to the place of thinking about the worst case scenario first. There is no consistent mechanism that supports putting thoughts of success before thoughts of failure.
Change is fearful because it takes us into the uncharted unknown. Dealing with fear requires persistent deliberation and self analysis. For example, I once feared dying. So I meditated on this question until one day insight came in the form of this answer, "I fear death because death can be painful". It was that simple. I feared dying painfully. Metaphysically, I had accepted the concept of death and dying, but on the physical level I was still fearful. To cope with this fear, I accepted the belief that you can only die in the manner in which you have lived. If you live in healing and loving context, then this is the context you will die in. You will leave as regally or as deformed as you have lived.
So what is the source of the debilitating impact that fear has on our lives? As I mentioned before, it is socialization. From an early age we are taught that success is unlikely but failure is common and must be overcome. We are not taught that what you do in life is not based upon 'success' or 'failure', but upon consistent quality effort and self-trust. We are not taught that you can be a 'good' person without having to be 'good' at something. We are taught to anticipate the worse first, because it buffers you against disappointment, pain and rejection.
So how do we cope with fear and still find our way to a meaningful and value filled life?
Simple, by recognizing that fear is a natural first response but not a final response. That is does not make us succeed or fail, but only cautions us before we act. This awareness coupled with our natural instinct is the key to doing and succeeding.
"I will not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."
+ Frank Herbert "Dune"
The Bene Gesserit Litany
Change is fearful because it takes us into the uncharted unknown. Dealing with fear requires persistent deliberation and self analysis. For example, I once feared dying. So I meditated on this question until one day insight came in the form of this answer, "I fear death because death can be painful". It was that simple. I feared dying painfully. Metaphysically, I had accepted the concept of death and dying, but on the physical level I was still fearful. To cope with this fear, I accepted the belief that you can only die in the manner in which you have lived. If you live in healing and loving context, then this is the context you will die in. You will leave as regally or as deformed as you have lived.
So what is the source of the debilitating impact that fear has on our lives? As I mentioned before, it is socialization. From an early age we are taught that success is unlikely but failure is common and must be overcome. We are not taught that what you do in life is not based upon 'success' or 'failure', but upon consistent quality effort and self-trust. We are not taught that you can be a 'good' person without having to be 'good' at something. We are taught to anticipate the worse first, because it buffers you against disappointment, pain and rejection.
So how do we cope with fear and still find our way to a meaningful and value filled life?
Simple, by recognizing that fear is a natural first response but not a final response. That is does not make us succeed or fail, but only cautions us before we act. This awareness coupled with our natural instinct is the key to doing and succeeding.
"I will not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."
+ Frank Herbert "Dune"
The Bene Gesserit Litany
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